Thursday, June 24, 2010

An accident at school, and a heart-to-heart at home

Today it was Olivia's turn. The grade 3 classes were performing by singing AND dancing -- since their recent unit of inquiry was global dance. Apparently, Olivia confessed to Miss Ivana yesterday, that she had butterflies in her stomach and was nervous about forgetting some of her dance steps. Yet today, she performed brilliantly (although with a keen eye towards the teacher/choreographer). Avery joined us for the recital, and while I thought we'd see Charlotte as well, she seemed to have vanished within the walls of the school. The performance was held in the garden again, and it was another absolutely gorgeous day.

Before the show, I had gone upstairs to Miss Ivana's classroom to thank her for her amazing contribution to our children's lives this year, and to give her a parting gift. I expected to see Charlotte there for her lesson but she didn't turn up (that's what I mean about vanishing). Ivana shared some stories with me about Olivia (including the one from yesterday with the butterflies in her tummy) and showed me two letters Charlotte had written about her experience in Italy and at the Rome International School with Miss Ivana. We both had a good cry and a hug together. She truly loves our girls (Avery was not her student), and thinks we are so blessed. I'll have to keep remindng myself of this. Ivana is such an outstanding person in every way. We will all truly miss her.

After the performance, Josh and I drove to Ponte Milvio to research some birthday cake options. To me, this incapsulates the Italian experience. Living in this country is such a joy if you are not working and have time on your hands to a) really enjoy it, and b) deal with it. Most business must be conducted in person -- from paying bills, to buying clothes, to ordering a cake. In the States, busy, overscheduled people can accomplish most tasks on-line, or at a minimum, over the phone. Not here. There is no "free-shipping, free returns," nor even paid shipping if you don't show up to choose the items yourself. In the American view, this makes Italy truly inefficient. In the Italian view, this builds relationships, and communities.

Back to the cake, we surveyed the offerings at two pasticcerias, and selected a torta from the latter -- Mondi, where we also enjoyed a second breakfast of their renowned cappuccino and cornettos. In fact, the cornettos were so good (and hot out of the oven) that we shared another one, chocolate, between us. The cake ordering too, is not so simple. Italians don't do layer cakes like we do. Two layers of chocolate cake, with berries and jam in-between and a butter cream frosting -- never heard of it! It's entertaining speaking to the bakers and hearing their opinions: "Too much cake makes your mouth dry; your mouth will be tacky from eating it. You must have more moisture inside from Spanish cream." "No, it's too hot for that type of cake; you need a more refreshing cake, a lighter cake for the season." Some of it actually makes sense. In fact, even the Italian attitudes towards eating pasta (not in the summer, or when it's over 70 degrees) and gelato (not when the temps drop below 70 degrees) makes some sense. We don't feel like eating hot food when it's hot, and we don't crave ice cream in the winter-time. But, we still make fun of the Italians for all of their rigid customs surrounding food!

Misson accomplished, cake ordered, we headed for home where we had not much to do before afternoon pick up. Or, so we thought. But then Josh got a call from the school doctor. Olivia had been involved in an accident with another classmate, and her finger was sliced by a pair of scissors. It was a large cut and may need stitches. It was recommended that we take her to be evaluated. Josh and I both hopped in the car to drive to the school to see Olivia. In fact, Josh had just been at the school picking up Charlotte to take her to the 2:30pm swim practice. This time we collected Olivia from the doctor's office, and Avery from his classroom.

Without a clue of where to go or what to do, Josh had already called his orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Ticca, and asked if he could do us a favor and look at Olivia's finger. Ticca said he was out of Rome, but that Olivia should be taken to the clinic and he will arrange for his assistant to see her. So Josh took Olivia to Clinica Sanatrix. And I walked home with Avery.

It turns out, the doctor who saw Olivia determined she did not need stitches. He cleaned and sanitized the wound, and taped her up. As for Avery, on the way home, we stopped at the barber shop on Viale Bruno Buozzi so he could get his hair cut. I love to go with Avery for his haircuts, he is very patient and cute in the chair.

Later, I would get a phone call from Miss Ivana who was checking to see how Olivia was doing. The following day too, Miss Petiffer and many others asked about Olivia. Apparently there was much blood and everyone was worried!

Tonight, we had a few things planned. First, we dropped Charlotte off at the middle school year-end barbeque. Then, we walked over to the apartment of Avery's classmate where we'd been invited to dinner. But we didn't stay for dinner. We had a glass or two of prosecco and bid our hostess good-bye, and headed back to the school barbeque -- even though the food was certainly much better at Alessia's place. We set Avery and Olivia up with hot dogs, and then had a chance to speak to many of the parents we'd become friendly with this year. Charlotte seemed to be having a very good time with all of her friends as well.

By 9pm it was time to get the kids home. We still had plans to attend an art opening -- an installation at the Pyramide followed by a late dinner. But somehow, despite the fact that Morris was already at our place ready to babysit, the act of getting the kids ready took quite some doing.

Meanwhile, Charlotte seemed a bit emotional. It's clear she has her own mixed feelings about returning to Chicago. She will miss Rome and her friends here. Yet, at the same time, she confided to me that some of the girls had distanced themselves from her in recent weeks -- a proctective mechanism perhaps. But Charlotte didn't understand this. Charlotte is a straight up, give a lot of love, type-of-girl. It also became clear that, despite our struggles this year, Charlotte does in fact seek my approval. Due to my frustration with Charlotte and her lack of communication, in recent weeks -- whether subconscioulsy or consciously -- I have redirected much of my attention towards Olivia. Charlotte has noticed this and it bothers her. We had a good chat; a healthy conversation pertaining to all sorts of issues. And afterwards, I felt satisfied that balance might actually be restored -- that Charlotte and I might actually reconnect and that our relationship will improve.

Certainly by this point in the evening -- it was almost 10pm, afterall -- Josh was tired from being out late the night before, and this along with my own inertia conspired to dissuade us from venturing out again. So we did not make it to the art opening event. I was disappointed, but talking to Charlotte was more important.



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